Saturday, September 2, 2017

Back to School - again

Here we go with yet another school year. We had a fabulous summer, but all of the kids are ready and excited for school to start again. Secretly, I am just as ready and excited to have a house that stays quiet and clean for more than 5 minutes during the day. As hard as it was switching schools in the middle of the year last year, I am glad we bit the bullet and did it because the kids now know the school, teachers, and friends and are ready to jump into a new school year without any hesitation. 

Mason is heading into 5th grade in Mr. Perry's class. This is Mason's dream come true since Mr. Perry is one of the coaches for the AF High school football team. While Mason may be excited because Mr. Perry is the cool and popular teacher I am just as excited because I have heard nothing but great things about him as a teacher and what a positive role model he is for these young boys. After the first week of school Mason is the happiest I have seen him in years. He pops out of bed in the morning, excited to get to school and comes home smiling and happy about the great day he's had. It does this momma's heart good to see this complete 180 from the last few years.

Brynn is starting 3rd grade in Miss Raddatz's class. Brynn was a little disappointed not to be in her best friends Kristi and McKella's class. As soon as she met Miss Raddatz at back to school night she was completely sold and was thrilled to be in her class. She is such a kind, fun, and enthusiastic teacher - the perfect fit for Brynn. Brynn has picked right back up with the many friends she made last year and is already making new friends. I have no doubt this will be a great year for her.

In Utah, kindergarten starts a week after the rest of the school to allow the teachers to do individual assessments with each student. Whoever came up with this plan obviously doesn't have an excited kindergartener they have to keep happy at home for an extra week while their brother and sister start school. It was the longest week of Miles life waiting for his turn to start. He did enjoy going to his assessment with his teacher, Mrs. Park. He was very proud of the fact that when she asked him to count as high as he could she had to stop him when he flew past 100 with no signs of stopping and told him that was the highest anybody counted for her. When the first day FINALLY arrived Miles was grinning from ear to ear. He was excited to have his friends Ronan and Lincoln in his class and I think that made him feel a lot more comfortable going in on his first day. After the first week kindergarten is living up to all his expectations. His only disappointment was the kindergarten playground doesn't have monkey bars and is "actually kind of boring". So Miles decided to orchestrate a game of football with some of the other boys each day instead. I hope that his excitement and enthusiasm for learning never fades.
To sum things up - it looks like it will be a pretty awesome year. I feel a sense of optimism and excitement that I haven't felt in a long time - 3 years to be exact - and it absolutely terrifies me! I have learned that when life seems too good to be true it often is and something horrible is lurking around the corner waiting to crush me. The anxiety sits like a rock in my stomach all day and keeps me awake at night wondering what terrible thing is going to happen. The whole back to school season always stirs up a lot of emotions surrounding Ellie's death and I know that is a big contributor to my anxiety, but the struggle inside me is very real. I am trying to embrace this new found optimism and be grateful for all the good in my life, but it's hard when it makes me feel so vulnerable to disappointment and pain. I hope that in May, as we are concluding a wonderful school year, I will look back on this post and laugh at myself for being so silly. I hope.