Adult ICU

Headed out the door for my last shift on Adult ICU.

Eleven years ago I made one of the hardest decisions I've ever had to make when I gave up my spot on BYU's volleyball team so I could pursue a career in nursing. It had been my dream for as long as I could remember to be a collegiate athlete. I had dedicated all of my high school years to attaining that goal and had reached it. But it felt so wrong. I couldn't shake the feeling that it was time to hang up my volleyball gear and move on. I knew it was because there was one thing in life I wanted more than anything, and that was to become a nurse. So once I found out that I could not be on the volleyball team and be in the nursing program at the same time, I knew what I had to do. I met with the coach and told her my decision to quit the team. I immediately knew I had made the right decision and have never had a moment's regret since. For the next two years I poured everything I had into my school and being accepted into the highly competitive nursing program while working at a cardiology office. Once in the program, I was lucky enough to land a job at the hospital as a secretary/nurses aide on the Intermediate Care Unit (IMC), a step-down unit from the ICU. While working weekend nights for the next 2 1/2 years it became clear to me that critical care is where I wanted to work. I graduated and was thrilled to be hired onto IMC which a few years later turned into the Adult ICU.

My job as an ICU nurse wasn't always glamorous. I spent my shifts dealing with every kind of nasty body fluid you can imagine (and many you can't imagine), bathing overweight people, fighting confused and combative patients, dealing with crazy families, and many more unpleasant things. But I was also able to use my knowledge and skills to save people who should have died, help ease someone's pain, hold the hand of a dying patient and tenderly take care for their body after passing, or simply give family members the chance to go home and get some sleep while I promised to care for their loved one like they were my own mother or father. I loved it all...the good, the bad, and the ugly.

Not only did I love the work I did, but I loved the people I worked with. When you work beside someone in the ICU it is like going into the trenches with them. You have to have each others' back. I made some pretty incredible friends over the years. So many great memories of Sunday night dinners, laughing until I cried (everything is extremely hilarious at 3am), doing stairs to try and burn off all the junk food we ate, problem solving through some tough clean ups, the list could go on and on. I will forever cherish these friendships.

My job has been such a blessing for our family over the last 9 years. I have worked anywhere from prn hours (2 shifts a month) to full time (3 shifts a week) as our situation has permitted. I strongly believe that having an opportunity to get out of the house and do something I love has made me a better mom when I am home. Because I was always working nights (6pm-6am) my kids hardly knew I was gone and it came at no expense to them. It actually allowed them to build strong and wonderful relationships with Scott and my mom that I don't think would have been the same had I not worked. For 4 year I had the same schedule where I worked every other Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. The kids looked forward to their weekends when Dad was in charge and then on Monday morning they got to go to Grandma's house to play in the morning while I got a few hours of sleep. It worked out perfectly. I can hardly think of a time (besides when Brynn was a baby) that any of the kids were upset when I left to work. I can, however, remember several times I was put on call or cancelled that my kids would cry and whine in protest that I was going to ruin their party with Dad and they wouldn't get to go to Grandma's to play in the morning. I chose to be a nurse because I knew it would allow me to be the kind of mother I wanted to be. What I didn't know was choosing to be a nurse allowed me to be the kind of mother I needed to be for Ellie. I cannot even begin to explain what a blessing my experience and knowledge has been while we have been caring for Ellie. While the majority of the time I was working we were not relying on my income, there came a time when circumstances changed and Scott went back to graduate school that I was able to step up and provide for our family so we could avoid debt. When I look back on all the sacrifices it required for me to become a nurse (quitting volleyball, working a lot more than playing the first 3 years of marriage, taking my physiology final the night before our wedding, starting back in class and clinicals 5 days after having my first baby, etc.) it was all worth it.

I still cannot believe that after nearly 9 years of working on the Adult ICU (formerly IMC) I am done. I will never get dressed in my blue scrubs and kiss my family goodnight. I will never walk down the hall straining my eyes to see the assignment board to see what fun I am getting into for the next 12 hours. I will never sit in the core eating chicken strips and fries and laughing with my friends. I will never stumble out to my car in the morning exhausted and then pull into my driveway wondering how I made it home. I am going to miss it, that is for sure.