Mama's Boy

Thanks to the help of Scott and my parents, Ryan's first month has been pretty dreamy for the two of us. While they have been out keeping the big kids busy and filling their summer with memories, Ryan and I have been enjoying our time together. Our days have consisted of little more than snuggle. sleep. eat. repeat. After a month of having my undivided attention, Ryan has turned into quite the Mama's boy. He likes to be held (by me) All. Day. Long. He despises his car seat and therefore his stroller. He doesn't like to take a bottle or pacifier but would nurse around the clock if I let him. He loves having eye contact when being held and does not like to be put down or left alone. But you won't hear me complaining one single bit.
The special bond between newborn and mother was something I missed out on with Ellie. With Ellie hardly able to take a bottle the doctors informed me that breastfeeding would not be an option, but strongly encouraged me to pump, which I did for 3 months, so she could receive the benefits of breast milk. It may seem trivial after all we have been through, but still to this day one of my greatest losses with Ellie was the inability to breastfeed her. Breastfeeding fostered an indescribable bond with my other babies during the first few months of life and I didn't get to experienced that same kind of connection from the beginning with Ellie. I felt a huge void in our relationship. I was nobody to her. It didn't matter if I was there for every feeding or if someone took my place. She didn't get a special look in her eyes or calm down for me the way my other babies had. I was just like any other person to her. Add to that all the stress and medical issues we were dealing with and it felt more like I was working a never-ending, nightmarish shift at the hospital than getting to know my newborn. I felt more like her nurse than her mother. It wasn't until after Ellie got her trach that I began to feel a similar type of connection with her. She needed me. I was the person who could care for her best. I was her mother and she knew it. In the end Ellie and I shared an extremely deep connection, but it didn't happen in the first weeks of life. That is why this time around I am not taking a single moment of this newborn bliss for granted.
While I won't forfeit a single chance I have to snuggle up with my little Ry-guy, eventually I have to get something done around the house. All I can say is thank goodness for my new Solly Wrap. It snuggles Ryan up to my chest just the way he loves to be my arms are free to do what I need to. It's a win win for this Mama's Boy and me.