Miles' 5th Birthday

Miles is turning 5 and he wanted to celebrate Transformer style this year! After seeing pictures of Mason's Transformer Party, Miles knew he wanted to have the same transformer costumes for him and his friends to wear and an autobot cake. Since the idea of hosting a party inside at our new and still unsettled house kind of stressed me out I decided to continue with my year of paying to have the party somewhere else. We decided that Blaster Tag would be the perfect place to have a transformer party. Blaster Tag is an indoor nerf arena (fancy way of saying a big room full of barricades and nerf guns for everyone). We had each of the kids choose a transformer costume that divided them into the blue team and the yellow team. 85% of the kids had an absolute blast and were in Nerf heaven, but there were a few little ones who didn't think this was such a fun idea after all and chose to sit outside and watch through the windows. Miles loved every second of it! 

Front L-R: Kendall, Colson, Miles, Grady, Camden Embley, Andrew Naperski, Braxton Clayson.
Back L-R: Daniel Glahn, Mason, Maggie Glahn, Brynn, Nash, Andrew, Chase.

5-year-old Miles

• Got a new Uh-oh this year (or rather stole a blanket Grandma got for Ryan). He is still completely addicted to it and walks around the house with it sucking his thumb.
• Enjoys learning and loves going to preschool. He knows all of his letters and is excited to be learning how to read. He can count to 100 and knows basic addition. 
• Still has amazing fine motor skills and writes and colors beautifully.
• His love for transformers has continued to grow as he has graduated from Rescue Bots to real transformers.
• Is very social and his friendships and family relationship are very important to him.
• He gets notoriously grumpy in the afternoon when he gets tired. It is a total Dr. Jeckyl/ Mr. Hyde situation.
• Can be bribed to do anything with a quarter.
• Still has the craziest cowlicks in his hair making it so he always has crazy little boy hair.
• Got new glasses this year because his eyelashes are so long they were constantly rubbing on his lenses and scratching them and making them dirty. He had to get glasses with a special nose piece that makes them sit further away from his face.
• My years of lazy parenting have caught up with us and he is completely addicted to playing electronics and wants to do it all the time. 
• Adores his cousins Andrew and Chase.
• Continues to be super athletic. Was a rockstar on his baseball and soccer teams, plays football with Mason all the time, and can't wait to play basketball this year. 
• Loves surprises. Will hold things behind his back to build suspense for as long as possible before revealing his big surprise. Gets very upset if anyone spoils a surprise.

New School - take 2

After a month of shuttling the kids back and forth to school in Orem, we all agreed it was time to make the switch to our neighborhood school, Legacy Elementary. So starting the day after Thanksgiving Break, Brynn and Mason became the newest Legacy Lions. Mason will be in Mrs. Clow's 4th grade class and Brynn is in Mrs. Luck's second grade class. They are both super excited about being on the AM track and going to school from 8am - 2:15pm (1:15 on early out days). Now we'll just see if we can get them out of bed and to school on time (I'm pretty sure we were 1/5 last week - oops)
Having gone to the same schools with the same peer group my entire life I can not even imagine having to start over at a new school, let alone twice in the same year. I am amazed at their ability to adapt. This is Mason's 4th elementary school and Brynn's 3rd. It hasn't been easy and it there are definitely been some bumps along the way, but I am so proud of these two. We are crossing all our fingers and toes that we can have a great rest of the year at Legacy.

Go Cougars

One of the many things we are excited about being back in Utah for is the opportunity to attend BYU sporting events. Scott took each of the kiddos to a sporting event of their choice this fall and each one of them had an absolute blast cheering on the cougars in a sport they love, spending time with their Dad, and eating a Cougar Tail. Scott was even nice enough to take me to a football game, and yes, I even got a cougar tail.
First up was Brynn. She wanted to go see a women's soccer game. BYU womens' soccer was having a great season and was ranked which made for an exciting game. They ended up winning 4-0. It was a cold cold evening so they had to bundle up and get some hot chocolate. Brynn loved watching the high level of soccer but most of all having some good 1:1 time with Dad.

Cougar tail time

Next up was Mason. It's no surprise he chose to go to a football game. My parents are so generous to share their season tickets with Chris, Brandon, and Scott. Scott and Mason got the tickets for the Homecoming game against Mississippi State. Not only did they get tickets to the game, but Grandpa Val was able to take them down on the field with all the alumni before the game. Being on the actual field was a dream come true for Mason. Just when he thought life couldn't get any better he was able to meet head coach, Kalani Sitake and one of his favorite players of all time - Bronson Kaufusi. Never have you seen a happier boy!

Last but not least it was Miles' turn. He was so excited to go to a basketball game with Scott that he dreamed about it the night before. He was counting down the minutes until the game, that started at 7 pm, all day long. His enthusiasm didn't waiver the entire game. He was on the edge of his seat following every single play. His favorite part was when BYU did an alley oop. Scott said that it was one of the funnest games he's ever been to because Miles was so into the game. I think these two have a lot of basketball games together in their future!

Basketball + Cougar Tail = Happy Miles

We look forward to making more memories of BYU athletics in the future.

A Bubble Tree for Ellie

The Festival of Trees has always been one of my favorite Utah Christmas traditions, especially after having Ellie and Primary Children's became such a part of our life. It is one of the things I have missed most during our Christmases in Omaha. One of the first things I did after moving back to Utah was sign up to donate a tree to the festival this year. I knew I wanted to do a bubble tree for Ellie, but didn't have a very clear vision for it. For a couple of months my mom, Kacie, Whitney, and I all kept our eyes open for ideas and gathered supplies and then right before Thanksgiving we got together and decorated the tree. I could not be happier with how it turned out! All of the little details came together perfectly. I love the way we clustered the clear ornaments to make them look like bubbles, I love the sweet pink bubble wands we used as ornaments, I love the precious felt bow garland wrapped around the tree, and I love the sweet pink tree skirt my mom made.

My mom and I saw this American Girl Doll bubble bath and fell in love with it. We decided it would be the perfect added touch under the tree.

We went on opening night to check out all the trees. I was much more aware this year of the stories behind the trees and it made me like them even more.

After the festival was done I decided I needed to have my own little Ellie bubble tree and so my mom and I created a mini version for our front room. Top it off with Ellie's picture with Santa and we have a perfect little corner to remember Ellie this Christmas.

Thanksgiving Getaway

There have been many years when we have thought what a great idea it would be to go down to Arizona for Thanksgiving, but I always had to work a shift or two over Thanksgiving weekend which always grounded us here. This year when I found out my holiday schedule for work and I had the entire Thanksgiving weekend off we decided to take off for a little Thanksgiving getaway to Arizona. Steve and Jenna are such gracious hosts and welcomed our family along with Mike and Linda and all of their kids for the weekend. We we a little bit nervous about how Ryan would handle the 10 hour drive since he still isn't super happy in his car seat. We decided to play it safe and break up the drive by stopping for the night at the Zion house. We took it even one step further by waiting to leave at Ryan's bedtime so he would sleep the whole first half of the drive. It worked like a charm and the first half of our drive was easy peasy. All of our cross country drives too and from Omaha have paid off because making 5-6 hour drives feels like nothing now. We pulled into the Zion house late and transferred all the sleeping kids to their beds. Ryan didn't transfer so well and was not very excited about being back in a pack n' play in a place he didn't know. He and I didn't get much sleep that night and that continued to be a trend throughout the rest of the trip. Traveling with a 5 month old just isn't all that easy. The next morning we hopped back in the car and finished our drive to Arizona. Ryan napped for part of drive but the remainder of the time confirmed that we made the right decision by driving while he slept the night before. We introduced him to Baby Einstein and he liked it - for a little while at least. We finally arrived and were so excited to see our cousins we hadn't seen in months. 

Thanksgiving morning Scott and Steve took all the kiddos on a hike while Jenna and I stayed home and made Thanksgiving Dinner. Jenna is a pro and has been doing this for years. I was grateful for the experience I had preparing all the food last year so I could contribute more. By the time the crew returned from their hike our Thanksgiving feast was ready to be consumed. I have grown to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner so much more when I am the one slaving over each and every dish. 

After dinner was finished and cleaned up the kids were dying to go swimming. Steve and Jenna don't heat their pool and warned it would be very cold but the kids didn't head their warning. Mason went down the slide first and screamed bloody murder as he swam to the side because it was so cold. Miles must not have paid attention to all of Mason's screams because he followed right behind him and was not very happy when he hit the freezing cold water. Everyone else decided to play it safe and just wade on the sides of pool rather than get all the way in. The next day we drove over to the hotel Linda and few kids were staying at and swam in the pool there. I wouldn't call that water warm either, but apparently it was at least warmer and the kids enjoyed swimming around for awhile. 

The night after Thanksgiving we went to see the Christmas lights at the Mesa Temple - along with every other LDS person in Arizona. It was extremely crowded, but still fun to see. 

Scott, Steve and Mike had their usual golf outing and later Scott and Steve took Tanner and Mason out for a little 9-hole golf exertion of their own. The rest of the time was spent with the kiddos playing with cousins, playing games, and visiting. The big girls all loved taking care of Ryan and Finn and Jenna and I loved having a break. Brynn did inform me, "I kind of like Finn more than Ryan because he ccan sit on his own and is easier to play with." I told Brynn we can look forward to Ryan being the same way in a few months and she was pretty excited about that. My kids still don't know what typical baby development looks like and just remember how long it took Ellie to reach the littlest milestones so they are amazed every time Ryan learns a new trick. We decided to start our drive back Saturday afternoon and then take advantage of Ryan sleeping and drive straight through the night. It worked out pretty well. It was a quick trip, but proved to be a good little getaway.

What driving at night looks like.

A Hard Week

It's been a hard week.
My heart has been aching as we continue to get settled in a new place. I'm finding it difficult to make this house feel like our home knowing it will never hold any memories of Ellie. I struggle meeting new people and introducing us as a family of six knowing that many of them will never even know that Ellie existed. I returned to my job as a critical care nurse that I love so much and am constantly reminded how I failed the most important nursing job I ever had of taking care of Ellie. I dread the thought of suffering through another holiday season without all my children. I watch Ryan grow and develop as each day he effortlessly reaches a new milestone that Ellie worked so hard to achieve and many that I so desperately wish we could have experienced with her in her own way.
I miss her. I miss when life was easy and it didn't take so much effort to get up each day and try to hold all the pieces of my broken self together. When I didn't have to put on a happy face and pretend like I was okay for everyone around me. I miss the feeling of true happiness.
This is where I'm supposed to finish with an inspiring quote or thought about Christ and how families are forever. But not today. Today I just need to be able to say out loud that it's been a hard week. #griefishard #misshereveryday

Big Brother

From the first moment Miles met Ryan and started softly singing to him, Miles has been so quiet, sweet, and gentle around Ryan. Anyone who knows him knows that these are not adjectives often used to describe Miles. That just makes it even more special to see how endearing he acts toward his baby brother.
It really is no surprise that Miles is such a wonderful big brother, though. After all, this isn't exactly a new role for him. He first became a big brother when he was just shy of 17 months old. Looking back it still shocks me to realize just how little he was when Ellie was born. He was just a baby himself. Despite how young he was and how our life turned completely upside down, he just took it all in stride and was the sweetest big brother to Ellie. I cherish the memories I have of Miles interacting with Ellie. I took comfort knowing that Miles would always be Ellie's protector. When we lost Ellie Miles was bumped back to being the baby of the family. A role that, at the time, we thought he would likely possess for the rest of his life.
I could list 1000 reasons why I believe Heavenly Father sent each of our children to our family in the order and at the time he did. One of those reasons is that I truly believe Miles was meant to be a big brother. It is a responsibility he takes seriously and he does an exceptional job fulfilling. The love he has for his little sister and brother brings out the very best in him. His experience of loving and loosing Ellie has only made him love Ryan more fiercely than ever. He never passes up an opportunity to give Ryan a hug and a kiss or to simply stop and give him his undivided attention. He still often makes tender comments like, "I hope Ryan doesn't die. I want him to stay with us forever." which is a fear I hope lessens for all of us as time goes on. One thing is for sure, Miles makes every moment with Ryan count.
I can't wait to watch Miles and Ryan's relationship continue to grow as they get older and become each other's playmate and friend.