The last thing we did during our trip to Utah was attend the biannual Allred Family Reunion which took place in Brianhead, Utah at the Summit Mountain Lodge. Out of 84 of Pookie and Papa's posterity - 4 children, 4 sons/daughter in-law, 18 grandchildren, 16 spouses of grandchildren, 40 great-grandchildren (+ 3 more on the way) - all but 2 grandchildren's spouses, 2 great-grandchildren, and 1 angel great-grandchild were in attendance. That made 79 people under one roof that my grandparents kindly provided for all of us. It was a fun couple of days filled with activities around the lodge such as archery, 4-wheeling, hiking, fishing, crafts galore, and plenty of cousin time. The kiddos had an absolute blast. I always look forward to these reunions very much, but I wasn't prepared for how hard it would be for me as we were "all together" when I am still so aware that Ellie is missing. Knowing that Pookie and Papa had specifically reserved this place two years ago with Ellie in mind, hoping it would accommodate her needs and all of her equipment was difficult. Seeing all the cousins that are Ellie's age playing was even harder. Seeing everyone else so happy when I was hurting so much just made me angry. These emotions didn't exactly bring out the best in me and we ended up packing up and leaving sooner than planned. Grieving the loss of a child is such an isolating experience. Despite my personal struggles, memories were made and the kiddos had a good time.
